Your favorite author and the year of your birth is not a good password. I guessed it on the very first try. Now I almost wish I hadn’t because I found these in your mail.
These pictures make me sick.
I thought you were my boyfriend.
My mind is racing thinking about this. How do I calm down enough to get this off my mind? Out of my mind is how I feel. It comes and goes relentlessly like waves slapping the side of a boat. I almost want to throw up.
Just breathe, Brenda. Everything will be alright eventually. You have to ride the waves a while is all. It’s going to be painful and scary. Breaking up is always painful and scary.
So I deserve whatever I get for looking at his mail, right? Apparently so because I got slammed big time this time and therein lies the story: Attractive older woman gets duped by handsome younger man.
Poor guy doesn’t have a clue that I know what he was doing in Dallas last month when his dad called him up there to work on a house. Doesn’t have a clue that I’ve been following this whole sordid month-long mess — the messages, the women, lots of women, lots of pictures. The pictures of them kissing hurt the most.
I don’t even know what to think about this. My brain is throbbing. My heart aches. I know I could fall deeply in trouble emotionally because I loved this man. We spent a wonderful year together. We shared every holiday and birthday and major event in the last twelve months. We were a couple.
So who is taking pictures of him kissing other women and why? No one ever took a picture of us kissing. Where is the honor in running around on your girlfriend like this? Why are there no good words in this scenario? I know he didn’t do this to deliberately hurt me. I did it to myself by reading his mail, thank goodness. He didn’t even have a computer or an email address when I set the gmail account up for him and showed him how to use it. Oh, he screwed up alright, if losing me counts as a screw up. But I don’t think he intended to lose me. I don’t think he has a clue why I won’t talk to him. If I tell him that I saw the pictures, he’ll change his password and I won’t be able to spy on him anymore, which is probably what should happen so I can get over this man. He would never think to come here and read this. He said he’s moving to Dallas. There’s more work up there. Yeah, and more women.
If he knew I’d seen these pictures, he would probably say you’ve got to forgive me because that’s what love does. It forgives. It doesn’t judge; love forgives all things.
No it doesn’t. It can hold grudges. It can cut people totally off when they’re caught kissing other girls. Despite the fact that we may have been put here to learn how to love unconditionally, few relationships survive infidelity.
Goodbye, boyfriend. I will miss you.