Children sweeten our labors, but they make misfortunes more bitter. ~ Francis Bacon
Brooke is sixteen months old today. She stays with me on Fridays. Here’s what she likes to do.
- play with my computer
- play with my cell phone
- eat and drink
- pick up rocks, sticks, and leaves
- take a bath
- play with her cardboard books
- watch me work in the kitchen
- dig through my makeup drawer
- play with Hunter
I took this picture some time ago. It’s not very good but it is interesting. You can almost see the pain on my face from losing my boyfriend this summer, then dealing with a family deception, then learning that my “daughter” has cancer.
It has not been an easy summer.
Jenna was Jay’s girlfriend throughout high school, she was a bridesmaid in Jill’s wedding, and she was at the hospital when Brooke was born. She is beautiful and brilliant and has always been like a second daughter to me.
On July 30th she turned 23, and a week later she had a massive seizure that sent her to the hospital, where a golf ball-sized tumor was removed from the top right part of her brain. The news that followed was devastating.
Jenna has stage III malignant brain cancer.
I have cried more this summer than I have in years. In fact, years have passed without me shedding a single tear because life was just so darned good. This blog is a testament to that. Looking back over the six years of my blogging I can find very little sniveling.
But shit happens and some things make you cry and some things make you angry and sometimes you just feel sad. This thing with Jenna has hit me hard. What I have learned this summer is that NOTHING, absolutely nothing that anyone can say or do to me compares to the difficulty of potentially losing a child, even a grown child. A new mantra has come from all this. It’s a prayer, a hope, and a longing.
Thank you, my beloved Jenna. Healing energies surround you and infuse you with perfect health.
And thank you, Jay, for bringing beautiful Jenna into our lives. She told me the other day how in 10th grade she walked by the computer lab one day and saw you sitting there and decided she wanted to date you, so she began stalking you, sitting by you in the cafeteria every morning until finally the day came when you began to open up and talk to her.
Thank you, too, for coming in on Wednesday to check on Jenna. She begins chemotherapy on Tuesday.